11 Ways for a good Christian to have fun when trapped “shopping”

We all have friends (or a spouse) who like to shop longer than we do. What do you do to keep yourself entertained? These are more fun than being told to remember a book:

1. When there are people behind you, walk really slow, especially thin narrow aisles.
2. Walk up to an employee and tell him in an official tone, “I think we’ve got a Code 3 in Housewares,” and see what happens.
3. Follow people through the aisles, always staying a short distance away. Quietly pray for them. Continue to do this until they leave the department.
4. Follow people through the aisles, always staying about five feet away. Pray for them out loud. Focus on keeping them from the terror of eternal hellfire! Continue to do this until they leave the department. (Don’t really do this…it was just fun to type)
5. As the cashier runs your purchases over the scanner, look mesmerized and say, “Wow. Magic!”
6. Ask other customers if they have any Grey Poupon.
7. Make up nonsense products and ask newly hired employees if there are any in stock, i.e., “Do you have any Shnerples here?”
8. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream, “No, no! It’s those voices again!”
9. Drag a lounge chair on display over to the magazines and relax. If the store has a food court, buy a soft drink; explain that you don’t get out much, and ask if they can put a little umbrella in it.
10. Don’t really do # 8 and 9
11. Have a real conversation with a stranger and talk about your faith.

A Story for Your Children – Squanto and the Miracle of THANKSGIVING

Originally by Dr. Ralph F. Wilson

Sailors poured onto the rocky beach as their small craft landed. Nearby cliffs echoed with a shout: “Grab that short one before he gets away!” The Indian boy felt a sailor’s callused hands grasp his shoulders. Though he thrashed and jerked, Squanto (SKWAN- to) couldn’t break free. As fibers from a coarse rope cut into his wrists he finally decided that struggle was useless. He was dragged into a longboat, then carried aboard a three-masted English ship anchored offshore.

Squanto had been fishing along the rugged coast when his friend had looked up and pointed, “Great boats with white wings.” They had scrambled over the boulders to meet the strange white-faced intruders. Now Squanto was their captive. Weeks later, a pale Squanto wobbled down the gangplank from that lurching deck onto firm land. He and other Indians were taken to the elaborate mansion of Sir Ferdinando Gorges who had financed many expeditions to the New World. For the next three years, the Indian youths were taught English.

At first Squanto found the new tongue awkward, but eventually he surprised himself: “My name is Squanto. I have come from America.” His English host was eager for the Indians to master the language. One day Gorges called them to his quarters. “Young braves, you have studied hard. Now you will be sent as guides on new explorations of America. I will miss you.” “Another ship? How can I stand that constantly rolling deck?” Squanto thought. But in time he gained his sea legs. His knowledge of the rivers and natural harbors, of the tribes and chieftains of his homeland proved very helpful to the English explorers.

For years he had longed to see his beloved bay and village again. One day, as his ship sailed along the New England coast, he spotted it. Squanto ran to the captain. “May I go ashore, sir? That’s my village. That’s my home!” “Yes, young man. You have served us well. Now you can return to your people.” As soon as he heard the pebbles crunch under the longboat’s hull, Squanto jumped out and ran to embrace his parents. He was home! But his homecoming didn’t last long. Within weeks Squanto spotted new sails on the horizon. No longer afraid of English ships, he proudly led a band of young braves to greet the sailors. Armed seamen seized Squanto and nineteen other Patuxet (paw-TUX-et) Indians. Once again he was imprisoned aboard a British merchant ship. Rats scampered across the damp hold where the Indians were chained. Scarce provisions, a stormy trip, and continual seasickness took their toll. Several Indians were buried at sea. By the time they reached the Spanish slave-port of Malaga (MA-la-ga), Squanto was very weak.

One by one the surviving braves were pushed up onto the auction block to be sold. Finally it was Squanto’s turn. He could barely stand. “Senores (sen-YOR-es), what will you bid for this strong Indian?” the slave trader rasped. A brown-robed monk nodded and the auctioneer grinned. “Sold to the brothers of the monastery.” A heavy pouch of coins exchanged hands and the monk led Squanto home. At last his wrists were untied. A friar brought fresh water and plenty of food, though Squanto could only eat a little. “Estas libre (es-TAS LEE-bray)! You are free.” Squanto looked into the clear eyes of this man of God. Though he knew no Spanish, he understood. Over the next few weeks he pieced it together. Their love for Jesus had prompted these Christian brothers to buy Indian slaves and teach them the Christian faith. As the monks nursed him back to health, Squanto began to love this Jesus, too. Yet he longed for home. The Indian used his command of English to find a fishing boat headed for London, where he rejoined his explorer friends.

Again, Squanto became a guide for explorations of the New World. Years passed. The day finally came when he saw the familiar coastlands of home. Once more he was granted permission to go ashore. No one greeted Squanto at the beach. He ran to his village. The bark-covered round-houses were empty. Not even a dog barked. Graves outside the village told the story. Samoset (SAM-o-set), his friend from a neighboring tribe, could bring little comfort. “A whiteman’s sickness struck your people. One week, all dead. Many villages lie silent like Patuxet.” Squanto’s emptiness overwhelmed him. Parents, brothers, sisters, forever gone. He wandered the forests for weeks in his grief. Finally he went to live with his friend Samoset. One cold December morning, six months after he returned, Squanto watched the white sails of a ship grow on the stormy horizon. This time he hid as the men came ashore. Their clothes looked different from those worn by sailors and the fancy English officers he had seen on other ships. Broad hats and great black capes shielded them from the biting wind. He could glimpse white caps and long dresses of women aboard the ship anchored in the bay. Often he saw children playing on deck. As green leaves came to clothe barren trees, the settlers began to build houses on the very place where his village had stood.

Day after day Squanto watched intently, never seen. Samoset urged him to meet these settlers. A cry went up as the Indians strode into the settlement. Men grabbed for their muskets. The Indians lifted their hands in greeting. “My name is Squanto. This is Samoset. We come in peace.” The settlers were astounded. An Indian who spoke clear English? The Pilgrims lowered their muskets and invited the Indians to share their meager food. The sun had set by the time Samoset got up to leave, but Squanto hesitated. Many of the settlers had already died from disease and winter’s bitter cold. There was little food. Yet they weren’t giving up. He thought of his old village’s battle with death. “You go,” Squanto told his friend in their Indian tongue, “I’m staying. This is my home, my village. These will be my new people.” Squanto turned to the leaders. “May I stay with you? I can help you. I know where you can find foods in the forest.” The white men studied the Indian carefully. Could he be trusted? Still, the struggling colony was in no position to refuse help. “Yes. Please stay.” That spring and summer Squanto proved his worth many times over.

He led them to brooks alive with herring beginning their spring migration upstream. He showed the settlers how to fish with traps. He taught them where to stalk game in the forest. The children learned what berries they could pick for their families. Twenty acres of corn grew tall after Squanto showed the Pilgrims how to plant fish with the native corn seeds from a local tribe. Once, a hostile tribe captured Squanto. “If he is killed,” shouted their chief, “the English have lost their tongue.” A small Pilgrim force arrived just in time, firing their muskets in the air. The terrified chief released his captive and fled. Squanto repaid the Pilgrims’ favor. His bargaining skills kept neighboring tribes from attacking the small Plymouth colony. In the fall the Pilgrims planned a feast to celebrate God’s merciful help. Squanto was sent to invite friendly Chief Massasoit (MASS-a-soit) and his braves. They gathered around tables spread with venison, roast duck and goose, turkeys, shellfish, bread, and vegetables, with woodland fruits and berries for dessert. Before they ate, the Pilgrim men removed their wide-brimmed hats and Indians stood reverently as the governor led them in solemn prayer. “Thank You, great God, for the bounty You have supplied to us. Thank You for protecting us in hardship and meeting all our needs. . . .” Towards the end of the long prayer, Squanto was startled to hear his own name. “And thank You for bringing to us the Indian Squanto, your own special instrument to save us from hunger and help us to establish our colony in this new land.” Squanto stood proudly. It was a day to remember.

Two years passed. Squanto lay mortally ill, struck by a raging fever while scouting east of Plymouth. He turned over in his mind the events of his strange life. It almost seemed that a plan had led him. The first time he was captured he learned English. The second time, he was freed by gentle Christians who taught him to trust in Jesus. And though his own people had died of sickness, God had sent him to a new people who built their colony where his old village once stood. Pilgrim leader William Bradford knelt at his bedside. “Pray for me, Governor,” the Indian whispered, “that I might go to the Englishmen’s God in heaven.” Squanto breathed his last November 1622, gone from the New World, but entering a heavenly one.

________________________________________

This account is based on historical facts found in primary sources such as William Bradford’s Journal, Capt. John Smith’s The Generall Historie of New England, and Sir Ferdinando Gorges’ Brief Narration, and numerous secondary sources.

The Rutgers University Graph for Estimating Readability places this story at a level readable by 3rd and 4th graders. Vocabulary was checked against words in Amy Brown, John Downing, and John Sceats (eds.), Dictionary 4 (New York: Jove Books, 1974), graded for 10-12 year-olds.

Men Are Computers, Women Are Cell Phones

The following was taken from “Men Are Computers, Women Are Cell Phones,” Marriage Partnership magazine, by Rhonda Rhea

“I don’t know how we’re going to sort out tonight’s schedule,” I gushed as my husband, Richie, came through the door. “You’re late—and Andrew has a game an hour away. One of us has to get him there by 7:00. Jordan has a game here. Kaley is cheering at Jordan’s game, but she also has a game right before his—and it’s the same time as Andrew’s away game. That’s also the time Allie and Daniel are supposed to have practice at…”

I hadn’t even gotten to the dinner dilemma part of my list, when I knew by Richie’s wide-eyed, zombie stare that he’d shut down somewhere just after “You’re late.”

I’ve seen the look before.

How many other wives have seen their husbands processing information when suddenly their “screen saver” kicks on? My husband is able to process a lot of information. I know—I can dish it out in hefty chunks. There are times, however, when something seems to happen to his internal processor. Everything locks up, and I feel as if I need to, well, reboot. It’s as if I’m living with a computer!

Funny thing is, Richie tells me he’s living with a cell phone.

The night he arrived home late, he’d had a long, problem-filled day at work. He’d been looking forward to coming home, to his refuge where he could simply veg out and not have to think.

As he opened the front door, his peace bubble exploded into an outline of the evening’s agenda. I’d been poised at the door, ready for the attack. Every word about every game, and every place the kids had to be, came at him nonstop.

Richie told me later that my actions were akin to settling into a comfy seat at a movie theater, only to have his cell phone blast.

I’m a “cell phone”? I thought. [Then] I realized I can go off unexpectedly and sometimes at the most inopportune moments. I’m also faithful to keep “calling” until I’m answered. Oh no! I thought. I am a cell phone!

I don’t know about that whole Mars/Venus thing, but I think I can safely say men and women certainly operate on different hardware. We’re wired differently. To me, it seems as if men are computers and women are cell phones. The computer’s communication is most often a one-way communiqué. Cell phones, on the other hand, require two-party participation. They’re all about communication.

Dr. James Dobson hits on the wiring problem in his book, Love for a Lifetime. He writes: “Research makes it clear that little girls are blessed with greater linguistic ability than little boys, and it remains a lifelong talent. Simply stated, she talks more than he.” Dobson suggests that God may have given Mrs. Cell Phone 50,000 words per day, while Mr. Computer may average 25,000. By the time he’s walking up the driveway to his relaxing safe place, he’s most likely used 98 percent of his daily word store. He’s practically in “sleep mode” already—that mode that’s used after the screen saver’s been on for a while. She, on the other hand, is ready to give him most of her 50,000—and she wants a similar number from him. But all she gets is a busy signal. How can we find common ground?

Cell phones and computers do have something in common. They both need a connection, just as husbands and wives need a connection. And isn’t it interesting that techno-smart people are finding more and more ways computers and cell phones can work together to make life better? I recently occupied myself [at an airport] by watching the lady next to me check her e-mail and send out a message or two—all on her cell phone!

Powerful connection can result in a powerful, productive, and satisfying marriage. … You can get connected—even in a technically challenged relationship.

Can the Mainline Denomination Survive?

How would you answer this dilemma? Will the aging of denominations, which have been around for more than five decades, die? What should be done? How can a the nation’s largest main line denomination survive if its average member is 57 years old? Gary Stern in USA TODAY’s FAITH and REASON section (11-18-09) said the following:

The United Methodist Church has set a goal of lowering the average age of its members by a decade in a decade. Today’s average age: 57.

“It is critical to the survival of the denomination to lower the age of United Methodist Christians by a decade in a decade,” says Bishop Larry Goodpaster, president-elect of the UMC’s Council of Bishops.

But can the denomination get down to a younger average of 47 by 2019?

The United Methodist Church is the nation’s largest mainline Protestant denomination, but its membership has dropped from 10.7 million in 1970 to about 8 million today.

 

Church leaders on Facebook Comment:

• Comment - Expand that question to include local churches whose average age is 55+. At their current level of evangelism, particularly among youth, children and young adults, how many will be here in 25 years?

• Comment - The churches that I see that are pursuing the youth look like a Las Vegas show. The mainline old denominations are still steeped in traditions of men. God’s people are going to have to back up and just start accepting what God says and proclaiming it without adding to or taking away. His Word will endure forever, the heavens and earth will not. All our responsibility is to sow and water, He gives the increase. If we sow our opinions, denominational doctrines and not just the truth of God as it is written, then the Spirit of God has nothing to work with in the hearts of men. And even after doing that, there will be many in this age that will reject it. Paul said, there will be a great falling away among the people of God, chasing after doctrines of demons, seeking out teachers that say what they want to hear. Jesus also said, only a few will enter in. I am not disturbed by church attendance going down ….IF the Word of God is taught in all its truth. I know young people today that have truly laid down their lives, picked up their own cross and follow Christ, as well as older people. Thus says the LORD, “Stand by the ways and see and ask for the ancient paths, Where the good way is, and walk in it; And you will find rest for your souls. But they said, ‘We will not walk in it.’ (Jeremiah 6:16)

• Comment - For my generation (and the ones after me that I work with in church) belonging to something is very important, but that organization belonging to something ELSE feels suspicious. Particularly in a post-denominational era–gens x, y/emergent/whatever are used to diversity–most have embraced it. They work/hang out with people with diverse backgrounds, creeds, interests and tastes. These relationships are predicated on respect and they have no problem talking about their beliefs about god, life death and redemption, they just don’t want to feel a pressure to conform that. The irony is that it does conform over time, to what the community has implicitly or explicitly esteemed as true or reasonable–if you are intolerant of…republicans, democrats, gays, married couples, people who like indie music, people who like country music, etc…then the social forces will push you out of the community. Many mainlines are still fighting over these issues because they are hung up on what they feel it should mean to belong to their group. People on the outside aren’t so sure you should be putting limits on that. If “mainliners” could find genuine inter-denominational cooperation, maybe they’d have a shot at starting something new on a grassroots, community level.

• Comment - We need to get past the religious/institutional structure of church as usual. What it will take is to get out of the pews and into the streets. reach out to the kids at their level. open up the “sacred space” so that it becomes more of a community space. denominationalism is folding in because this current generation believes in God, but are not sold on particular brands or flavors of church. They don’t care if a local church is southern baptist or methodist or some other brand of church. What they care about is relationships and social justice. I believe we need to get back to a simpler, organic form of church. being missional/incarnational means being in the communities we’ve been sent to, as a citizen, a friend, and ambassador for Christ. It’s not enough to stand on a corner and hand out tracts, or even bottles of water. We need to break the missional code (as Ed Stetzer and David Putman have written in their book) of our divinely appointed mission field. We need to not only learn the language and culture, but to be accepted into that culture. When people within my community began addressing me and recognizing me as “Pastor” I knew that I had broken the missional code. It takes alot time, effort and patience to do this; to build relationships with people, one or a few at a time. After several years of attempting to resurrect a dying denominational church, according to the principles I had previously learned, I saw how frivolous my efforts were. We gave up our crumbling, century old, brick and stained glass church building and relocated wo a 1400 sq.ft. storefront that is more centrally located in the heart of a 99% residential, low income urban community. When we stepped out in faith and did this, we began to tap into a harvest that is plentiful, in the heart of a needy community. We don’t have it all figured out, but God is meeting us with new challenges and fresh doses of His mercy and grace, as we trust and obey Him.   

• Comment - It is all about Biblical ecclesiology (Christianity) vs. institutional Churchianity (Christendom). Yes we live in a post-denominational era (and the denominational hierarchy is still try to figure out how to preserve and sustain the old structures) — but most denominational leaders are ill-equipped to lead their people forward to recast the structures in “new wine bottles” that are actually a return to first century, organic, incarnational communities. The question is not “How can a denomination like United Methodist survive long-term if their average member is 57 years old?” but rather, **should** the United Methodist leaders even care if they implode? Are the structures as we know it necessary for the Kingdom of God — our is God up to something else for the future? A better question, how do we join in with where God is at work and allow Him to shape the outcome — rather than our putting His work in Our box? The reformation reformed theology but in large part left the clergy structures intact. Maybe it is time to allow God to bring Christianity back to its first century, organic roots….

• Comment - As congregations leave or lessen their relationship with traditional denominations, they turn around and create new denominational forms. The issue is not whether or not denominations will exist in decades to come, but will they be real to the movement of congregations. Highly institutionalized denominations have endowed their future financially, so they will exist in some form. Generally it is smaller national denominations of less than 2000 or regional denominational organizations who are agile enough to transition with the times.

• Comment - Personally I believe that loosely affiliated networks are the wave of the future. Many of the historical reasons for denominations have little currency today – - leaving many denominational executives striving to justify their existence — with increasing marginal success. Postdenominationalism is not merely substituting one institutional form for another — rather it stems from a total ecclesiological transformation that casts “congregations” into a myriad number of organic, cultural forms – each arising from their sociocultural context. In my view, those pan-congregational entities that foster these organic forms and serve their development will thrive in the years to come. Those who do not, will ultimately see their tribe decreasing and their influence continuing to wane. The larger the organization the more capability for missions with the liability of institutionalism and bureaurocracy that strangles initiative, creativity, and most of all flexibility.

What do you think?

The Upside of Depression

I do not think that American church culture has grasped that life has seasons.

We have read the passage in Ecclesiastes 3: 1-8

 A Time for Everything

 ¹ There is a time for everything,  and a season for every activity under heaven:

 ² a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot,

 ³ a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build,

 ⁴ a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance,

 ⁵ a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them, a time to embrace and a time to refrain,

 ⁶ a time to search and a time to give up,  a time to keep and a time to throw away,

 ⁷ a time to tear and a time to mend, a time to be silent and a time to speak,

 ⁸ a time to love and a time to hate,  a time for war and a time for peace.

Somewhere, somehow, we adopted and perfected a model of happiness spirituality: the happier you are, the holier you are. Once in a while we see the bankruptcy of this idea. Happy people can be vacuous and irrelevant, even callous.

Happiness can be worshipped in our culture. This year there is a seemingly endless stream of books about the subject (Amazon returned 426,789 titles when I used that search term, including one that calls happiness “life’s most important skill”) had already set in last year.  Many psychologists, philosophers, and sociologists say that modest levels of well-being aren’t enough, and that we all practically have a duty to be really, really happy.

The great God-followers in scripture and history found value in depression. I think they were on to something.

Consider:

1. The lamentations of Jeremiah, filling a whole book in the Bible;
2. The melancholy of Saul, soothed only by the music of David;
3. The memoir of the great mystic John of the Cross, called Dark Night of the Soul;
4. The depressions of the reformer Martin Luther, which led him to discover justification through faith;
5. The melancholia that pops up in the writings of Wesley and Calvin, and in Bunyan’s Pilgrim’s Progress, where the pilgrim must traverse a very melancholic sort of swamp before he can find salvation.

Sharon Begley, NEWSWEEK’s science editor, has made the following observations depression’s helpfulness:

People in the grip of depression tend to ruminate, to turn an issue over and over in the mind. If they’re ruminating on why they can’t get a date, that might seem bad—since it keeps the person depressed. But this way of thinking, note the scientists, is “often highly analytical.” That can be useful, producing solutions to what tipped the person into depression in the first place, not to mention “Eureka!” moments such as discovering fire. Evidence: people who felt depressed before tackling challenging math problems tend to score higher than happier test-takers, Andrews and Thomson reported in a 2007 study.

Depression tends to focus thinking. Biologically speaking – it supplies neurons with fuel, allowing them to fire without flagging. That includes neurons in the ventrolateral prefrontal cortex, which have to fire continuously to keep the mind from wandering. (It’s an attention circuit.) Focused thinking, like analytical thinking, might help someone overcome depression.

Depression tends to make sufferers seek isolation, and keeps them from deriving pleasure from sex, food, or life itself. Obviously this can be crippling (and even fatal) to the sufferer. But it may also be adaptive: these behaviors foster the kind of focused and deliberative thinking that might solve the problem that triggered the depression in the first place. Evidence: a 2006 study found that when people suffering from depression engage in expressive writing, which forces them to focus on their troubles, their depression tends to lift sooner than otherwise. A 2008 study reached the same conclusion.

As I read this I also remember that many people with depression report that although they indeed ruminate on their problems, their thinking is far from clear, focused, and analytical, and thus provides little insight into—let alone a remedy for—their illness. There is also a debilitative depression that is clearly not helpful. When depression leads to self-harming behavior intervention is best.

Yet, while painful, there seems to be a real value in healthy (non-debilitative) depression that should be embraced. Isaiah tells us, “Those who wait on the Lord will renew their strength.”Jesus walked willingly into the wilderness. We can too….

Are You a Thankful Rich Fool?

Thanksgiving is just around the corner. We take time to reflect on our many reasons to be grateful. Even if we have relatively little (for Americans) we can usually find turkeys the size of not-so-small children. We may spend more time trying to stuff them into our ovens than filling them with stuffing. This enormous bird is then fed to family gatherings. In today’s culture of moving often, these tend to get smaller and smaller every year. In my house, eating at least two desserts is practically mandatory.  We easily have more than we could ever consume.

The United States now has 2.3 billion square feet of self-storage space. (The Self Storage Association notes that, with more than seven square feet for every man, woman and child, it’s now “physically possible that every American could stand—all at the same time—under the total canopy of self-storage roofing.”) According to the Self Storage Association, one out of every 10 households in the country rents a unit. Jon Mooallem, “The Self Storage Self,” The New York Times (9-2-09)

Soren Kierkegaard tells a parable of a community of ducks waddling off to duck church to hear the duck preacher. The duck preacher spoke eloquently of how God had given the ducks wings with which to fly. With these wings there was nowhere the ducks could not go, there was no God-given task the ducks could not accomplish. With those wings they could soar into the presence of God himself. Shouts of “Amen” were quacked throughout the duck congregation. At the conclusion of the service, the ducks left, commenting on what a wonderful message they had heard — and waddled back home.

Too often, would-be worshipers waddle away from the thanksgiving table happy but unchallenged and unchanged. We are happy for what we have and have remembered how much we have for another year. Our accumulated goods are stored up and we are comfortably looking forward to another year of having enough to eat. It reminds me of one of Jesus’ parables:

The Story of the Rich Fool – Luke 12:13-21 (The Message)

 ¹³Someone out of the crowd said, “Teacher, order my brother to give me a fair share of the family inheritance.”

 ¹⁴He replied, “Mister, what makes you think it’s any of my business to be a judge or mediator for you?”

 ¹⁵Speaking to the people, he went on, “Take care! Protect yourself against the least bit of greed. Life is not defined by what you have, even when you have a lot.”

 ^16-19Then he told them this story: “The farm of a certain rich man produced a terrific crop. He talked to himself: ‘What can I do? My barn isn’t big enough for this harvest.’ Then he said, ‘Here’s what I’ll do: I’ll tear down my barns and build bigger ones. Then I’ll gather in all my grain and goods, and I’ll say to myself, Self, you’ve done well! You’ve got it made and can now retire. Take it easy and have the time of your life!’

 ²⁰“Just then God showed up and said, ‘Fool! Tonight you die. And your barnful of goods—who gets it?’

 ²¹“That’s what happens when you fill your barn with Self and not with God.”

 

So,

Are

We

Thankful

Rich

Fools?

What Are FACEBOOK “Friends”?

In a New York Times magazine article, titled “Facebook in a Crowd” Hal Niedzviecki discussed his experience with Facebook. Niedzviecki started his account and quickly had about 700 on-line “friends.” In his own words, he was “absurdly proud of how many cyberpals, connections, acquaintances, and even strangers I’d managed to sign up.” But he also had a 2-year-old at home, was a workaholic, and liked being left alone. He had very few real friends. So he decided to have a Facebook party to get to know some of his new friends.

Niedzviecki invited all 700 of his “friends” to a local bar for a party. People could respond to one of three options: “Attending,” “Maybe Attending” and “Not Attending.” Fifteen said they would be there, and sixty said they might be there. He guessed somewhere around 20 would show up.

He writes about what happened next: “On the evening in question I took a shower. I shaved. I splashed on my tingly man perfume. I put on new pants and a favorite shirt. Brimming with optimism, I headed over to the neighborhood watering hole and waited. And waited. And waited. Eventually, one person showed up.”

And the one woman who showed up to meet Niedzviecki? He didn’t know her. She was a friend of a friend. They ended up making small talk and then she left.

Hal waited till midnight but no one else showed up. So, he ordered a beer and sulked. He concludes his article with these words: “Seven hundred friends, and I was drinking alone.”

A thought from Roy – I have about 3000 FB friends. Many of them are past students, friends from churches where I have been a Pastor, some are coworkers past and present.  I have also made a few new friends and met “irl” (in real life) for coffee several times.  For me, Facebook works as an easy way to build new networking friendships and invest in the friendships you already have. Are all of our FACEBOOK friends actually our friends? It’s socially clumsy to think that they are.  But that is OK. Networking and online friendships have their own rewards. A few of the firends I have met on facebook have become very good friends. While I may never meet all of them in person, I am very grateful for them. With the busyness of our lives, Facebook helps me to keep up my friendships.

Some somments from my Facebook friends (I have used initials to avoid publishing their names online):

Technology like facebook is like the bed and breakfast inns of a past era – our family still enjoys them – sometimes you share a bathroom with several other rooms, you sleep in a strangers house and get to look through their stuff, and every morning you share a meal with all the guests and laugh and talk and invade each other’s space…

JTWS: It allows me to feel close to the people from the different parts of my life. College… hometown… old churches. Makes me feel connected to the whole of my life. Like you, Roy. I’ve never met you, and I think you graduated a year before I started at Southeastern, but we share Hearts Afire and several mutual friends. Those things keep me close to something that matters to me.

FL: I have made a ton of new friends (acquaintances) thru the games I play on facebook. Some of them I actually have really come to care about. And the neat thing is that I am finding new ways to minister because of it.

JM: All my facebook friends are people I know personally. They are not just added for adding’s sake. I turn down friends often because I have never personally met them.

GDF: It’s funny that I read this, this morning.. I was just thinking about writing something on my FB to my friends.  Years ago I joined a chat room. It is a global chat room that people from all over the world are in. Even there some people feel that ‘online’ friends are not ‘real’ .. Well, I have had the pleasure and joy to meet in person over hundreds of these people. We have what is called a ‘Bash’ in various parts of the world and the States. Florida holds one every year in the St. Petersburg area. People from all over the world, including Australia, Austria, Germany, Ireland, and all over the US have come, just to name a few places. I myself have met and went to a ‘Bash’ or small get together in Australia. These people are ‘real’ whether online or not.. Every person you meet on line has feelings and thoughts.. Have families and hearts.. for me.. the friends I have on line are as real as my friends from school, child hood, work, or anywhere else I meet friends. As a matter of fact I am closer to some of my ‘online’ friends than I am to my ‘real’ friends.. It’s not because I am lonely, or that I don’t have friends.. I am a very outgoing person, I really love and care about them. I do have some online friends here in facebook I have never met.. but it’s not to say that God will never cross our paths. The online friends I have met and have interaction with have been a blessing in my life.. like a faith family.. they are my extended family.. we share a common bond.. friendship, love and genuine concern about each other, not to mention the fun we have together.. and as above was stated.. what a wonderful way to reach out to people that you may have never had the opportunity to before.. think of the way God works through technology today.. it’s awesome.

RSA: Technology like facebook is like the bed and breakfast inns of a past era – our family still enjoys them – sometimes you share a bathroom with several other rooms, you sleep in a strangers house and get to look through their stuff, and every morning you share a meal with all the guests and laugh and talk and invade each other’s space…part of the experience is to meet new people and have interesting conversations that broaden your horizons. By forming these networks and “friendships” on facebook, with people I don’t personally know, I have been able to actually minister, witness, form business and ministry alliances, and gain access to resources I would have otherwise missed out on. I think that’s a wonderful facet of it… kinda like ice cream: eat it once in a while as a treat and it’s actually good for you – but many, many servings everyday and you end up with a lot of extra weight to carry around

FUTURE-Global Christianity – Do YOU Take the SPIRIT Seriously?

Scot McKnight made the following comment on Harvey Cox’s new book The Future of Faith: Cox notes – as have many others – that the future of the church is moving out of the western world, into Latin America, Africa, and the East.  While churches stand empty in Europe, the faith is flourishing and growing elsewhere. Notably charismatic forms of the faith are growing fastest. The bottom line seems to be that faith is relevant for life in many parts of the world and that the Christian faith in particular meets a very real need.  Faith simply is not relevant in much of the secular west. But in the global South … liberation theology and the power of people in small house church groups play an enormous role.  Faith flourishes when it is not micromanaged from the top, but grows from the bottom through the power of the Spirit.

Let’s look at a bit of what Cox has to say:

First, for centuries Christians have claimed that the Holy Spirit is just as divine as the other members of the Trinity. But in reality, the Spirit has most often been ignored or else feared as too unpredictable. It “blows where it will,” as the Gospel of John (3:8) says, and is therefore too mercurial to contain. But some of the liveliest Christian movements in the world today are precisely the ones that celebrate this volatile expression of the divine. … By far the fastest growth in Christianity, especially among the deprived and destitute, is occurring among people like the Pentecostals, who stress a direct experience of the Spirit. It is almost as though the Spirit, muted and muffled for centuries, is breaking its silence and staging a delayed “return of the repressed.” (p. 9-10)

Fundamentalists are text-oriented literalists who insist that the inerrant Bible is the sole authority. Pentecostals, on the other hand, although they accept biblical authority, rely more on a direct experience of the Holy Spirit. Fundamentalists consider themselves sober and rational. Pentecostals welcome demonstrative worship and ecstatic praise, which they call “speaking in tongues” and which they regard as the Spirit praying within them. … Fundamentalists insist on a hard core of nonnegotiable doctrines one must hold to unquestioningly. Pentecostals generally dislike doctrinal tests and reject what they call “man-made creeds and lifeless rituals.” (p. 200-201)

Are Pentecostals contributing to the shift from belief to faith, or are they among those holding out for a belief-defined Christianity? Are they heralds of the Age of the Spirit? The answer is that there are, after all, 500 million of them, and they vary widely in their theologies and practices. Some Pentecostals, especially white North Americans, have been heavily influenced by fundamentalism. But in the global South, they are more informed by an ethic of following Jesus, and a vision of the Kingdom of God. They have recently become increasingly active in social ministries, but the hostility they sometimes show toward other faiths limits their ability to cooperate. (p. 202)

The explosive growth of Spirit led Christianity in Latin America and in Africa has tilted the scales to dominate the landscape of global Christianity. From its origins in a previously abandoned African Methodist Episcopal Church on Azusa Street in Los Angeles, Calif., pentecostalism has emerged as the fastest-growing Christian movement in the world. The movement emphasizes the gifts of the Holy Spirit, including speaking in tongues, miraculous healing and spiritual renewal. According to the World Christian Encyclopedia, adherents to pentecostalism and its related “spirit-filled” or renewalist faiths now number more than 500 million, comprising about a quarter of world Christianity, an exponential increase from 30 years ago when only 6 percent of the world’s Christians fit these classifications.

So…A question (borrowed from McKnight) – do we take the Spirit seriously? The Spirit spoke to Peter and Paul – and guided their mission. Does the Spirit provide guidance today? If so, how?

A final note, to summarize Cox’s new book – he advises that we keep an eye on two trends in the future: the changing nature of evangelicalism with the decreasing influence of fundamentalism in the U.S. and the growth of Christianity in China. He also notes the tension between how religion is approached by theologians and bishops, who tend to view faith as an aggregation of beliefs, and the way religion is viewed by laypeople who tend to view Christianity as experience. He connects this to the spectacular growth of Pentecostalism over the past century, which, he says, embraces the experiential. Whether you agree or disagree with Cox’s conclusions regarding the pre-mortem demise of fundamentalism, his views are certainly worth considering as we experience continuing change in the global Christain landscape.

The Worth of a “Virtual” Church

Quite a debate has erupted over on the Out of Ur blog about the merits of virtual church. People being a part of an on-line church—once unthinkable (you could probably say “once unacceptable”), now being embraced by thousands. Hmmmmmm.

A myth is growing in some circles of the blogosphere that online church is not good, not healthy, and not biblical. If we read carefully the criticisms levied against internet campuses, they boil down to some very common and tired themes: Internet campuses and online churches are not true churches because they don’t look like and feel like churches are expected to look like and feel like (in the West, anyway). Arguments against virtual church follow the idea that if it doesn’t look like church, feel like church, swim like church, or quack like church, it’s not a church. This may be a useful test for ducks, but churches are far more complex animals. – Douglas Estes

This myth is causing even open-minded people to have doubts about whether an online ministry can be valid. The criticism I hear comes from the baggage of the word “virtual.” People hear “fake.” Virtual doesn’t mean fake, it means synthetic. Our conversation should be about the benefits and obstacles inherent with using a synthetic space as a meeting place (or a synthetic medium as a means of building community). It should not matter where a church meets. The question I have is to what degree people can truly meet and have relationships online.

The virtual church community strives to embrace community and be real about the issue of anonymity. It is not trying to be virtual-only (not that that would be wrong, but it would be like starting a church in a building and only being the church in that one building—why would you do that?). Anonymity is not a new concern for ministry. Megachurches also have the concern that people might go to church ‘together’ but never know one another. We should also remember that anonymity creates safety for the unchurched to explore their faith.

The good news is that in virtual churches the people of God meet together for the purpose of glorifying Him. We are watching virtual churches discover who they can be and what they can be. The picture below is not a picture of me. It is a picture of the pastor of a church in Second Life. If you look closely you will see his stole and the congregation on his screen. This is an interesting new mission field for the twenty-first century.

http://www.virtualchurch.com/ The movement is already underway…so,what do you think?

 

If you really want to look into this, check out writings by Douglas Estes. He is the Adjunct Professor of New Testament at Western Serminary-San Jose and Lead Pastor at Berryessa Valley Church, San Jose, California. Has written about this in his book SimChurch: Being the Church in the Virtual World.

Also, keep an eye out for a full report on the virtual church phenomenon, and its implications for traditional churches. It will be in the fall issue of Leadership Journal. I think it will be worth the time to read.

I Love You, Man… And I Want Your Beer.

The ability of Madison Avenue to make the profound seem trivial while transforming the trivial into the profound is wickedly wondrous. Of course, that really is the whole goal of advertising — to make whatever you are selling, no matter how trivial, appear at that moment to be the most important consideration consumers are facing.

One memorable ad campaign from years past succeeded in elevating the age-old practice of bumming a beer from a friend to a new art form. You’ve surely seen the shots of a bunch of fishing buddies sitting around the campfire “bonding” over their experience. Suddenly one of the guys grows tearful and confessional. Coming close to one of his friends around the fire, he throws his arms around him and reveals in a tough-guy but choky voice, “I love you, man!” But instead of being touched, his friend sees right through the flood of tears. “That’s great, man,” he agrees, “but you still aren’t getting my Budweiser!” The only reason for the first guy’s confession of love was a pitifully transparent ploy to filch the last remaining beer from his buddy. Love as a way to get a free beer — that is the Madison Avenue pitch. While it seems like bald-faced idiocy, this ad campaign has obviously struck a funny bone with the public. For awhile, the fastest selling gift items in the new “Budweiser” catalog — a catalog devoted entirely to selling beer-branded merchandise – was a whole line of “I love you, man!” T-shirts, shorts, hats and signs. Was this a male backlash to a couple of decades of being told men need to be more “sensitive,” more “emotionally demonstrative”? “Okay,” this ad campaign counters, “I’ll bawl my guts out and express ‘real’ love to my friends . . . if it will also get me something I really want. Like a free beer.”

Have you ever noticed how often the media’s depiction of “churchgoers,” of apparently confessional Christians, isn’t much different. These Christians bawl and blubber over others only when it suits their agenda. For the most part, boob-tube images of a religious person are rarely of someone declaring with great sincerity, “I love you, man!” Instead, the most prevalent image is of a narrow-minded, self-righteous soul proclaiming, “I judge you, man!” or “I condemn you, man!” How tragically different is that vision from the view presented by Jesus. Caught up in itemizing our brother’s faults or our sister’s sins, the church has become best known as a “toe-the-line” community. Instead of being defined by love, we have become defined by law.

John 15:9-17

As the Father has loved me, so I have loved you; abide in my love. 10If you keep my commandments, you will abide in my love, just as I have kept my Father’s commandments and abide in his love. 11I have said these things to you so that my joy may be in you, and that your joy may be complete. 12 ‘This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. 13No one has greater love than this, to lay down one’s life for one’s friends. 14You are my friends if you do what I command you. 15I do not call you servants* any longer, because the servant* does not know what the master is doing; but I have called you friends, because I have made known to you everything that I have heard from my Father. 16You did not choose me but I chose you. And I appointed you to go and bear fruit, fruit that will last, so that the Father will give you whatever you ask him in my name. 17I am giving you these commands so that you may love one another.

The greatest decision facing today’s church may be whether it will function as a law-based community of faith or as a grace-based community of love. Will we be defined by some carefully articulated, theologically sophisticated, logically delineated “Articles of Faith?” Or will the church welcome its role as a living, breathing, healing, helping organism known for its “Acts of Love?”

The fact is: If we are genuinely to be the church; if we are to be a true Christ-body community of witnesses, we have no choice in this matter. Jesus did not command us to live a life of faith defined by legalistic particulars. Jesus offered us only one great commandment — “to Love God” and to “Love one another as I have loved you.” Instead of a series of laws, Jesus declared we are to live according to the mandate of love.